I Should Venture More (Another Childhood Lament)

I used to go to places when I was a kid. I went outside with my grandparents to the playground, I went to museums, I went to the beach often, and even the Kennedy Space Center. I still go outside as of now and have went to bigger places like North Carolina before, but it's just not as constant or vivid on how much I visit the outdoors.

I wish I could just go out more though. There's plenty of things I can do out there, just having adventures in places that I won't like at the start but will get used to the more I visit, but I can't think of that because I'm mostly on the iPad, on bed, listening to the same type of tedious but entertaining foolishness as background noise. 

Because I had a more vivid and innocent past, I could've had the potential (and I still do), but I think I'm wasting it all on slacking off.

Even if my writing seems garbled and I'm just going around saying things that kind of don't have connection to the subject matter, it still matters. I'm still worried about my current state and my future, but I'm feeling fine because I often care less, even in times where I should care.

Also, I feel alone. I rarely even have any friends, and I wish I could have some. Some at least. Real life friends, but also a few internet friends. I could find someone to be my woman one day, but I don't know if I'll come off as some sort of unattractive kid who can't get a woman or some kind of abuser.

But aside all of what I've mentioned, I'm still begging and wanting more in life. I'm like a bland Disney princess who's dreaming of better opportunities, except male. And even then, I still hate doing these opportunities, but still want them in the future.

Okay, I'll stop crying now. Thanks for listening.

-Telsm

We Change (Lament)

When I was a kid, I was amazed at things I found amazing and exciting. Birthday presents when I was a kid, bike rides with my father, the zoo before it got boring, the planetarium visit of 2015, and many more. That was when I was innocent enough, but sometimes pretty bad.

As of now, everything's changed. I'm no longer as expressive as when I was a child, and I ended up becoming pretty moody. When I tried briefly using my new Corsair, I didn't have as much excitement as I expected. It's just the same thing as when I reset my Alienware PC, except slightly faster. So now, I'm planning to start things differently with a new operating system I haven't tried completely; maybe it's bad, maybe it's good, who knows?

It's just because of what your son develops when he gets older. For instance, the opinions change, the tastes change, the likeness changes, the attitude changes, and also the linguistics and lexicon changes overtime. Either because you subject yourself to things you shouldn't be subjecting yourself too or not, there is a huge difference from what your son was when he was a child. Parents probably don't find this pleasing.

That's the point of when people reach teen ages or grow up. They change from either good people or bad people. I chose an unwell option and I may or may not be guilty of such. Honestly, because of this, I have very vivid concern about my future. In some chances, I'll be able to grow a different and better man, but other times, I may take a turn into becoming a disgusting creature. Two paths lead to two different things and I'm pending my last minute option for the future.

Shortly, we change into different people. It's usual for those who grow up and leave things alone for different things.

This may sound like there's not much thought put into anything, but it's just an expression of opinion.

-Telsm